"DeadLock" - Concept with beautiful example!!!
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Tuesday, September 28, 2010
Thursday, September 16, 2010
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
Peg after Peg
I never take risk while drinking
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When I come from office in the evening, wife is cooking
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When I come from office in the evening, wife is cooking
I can hear the noise of utensils in the kitchen
I stealthily enter the house
Take out the bottle from my black cupboard
Shivaji Maharaj is looking at me from the photo frame
But still no one is aware of it
Becoz I never take a risk
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I take out the glass from the rack above the old sink
Quickly enjoy one peg
Wash the glass and again keep it on the rack
Of course I also keep the bottle inside my cupboard
Shivaji Maharaj is giving a smile
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I peep into the kitchen
Wife is cutting potatoes
No one is aware of what I did
Becoz I never take a risk
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I to my wife: Any news on Chopra's daughter's marriage
Wife: Nope, she doesn't seem to be that lucky. Still they are looking out
for her
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I again come out; there is a small noise of the black cupboard
But I don't make any sound while taking out the bottle
I take out the glass from the old rack above sink
Quickly enjoy one peg
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Wash the bottle and keep it in the sink
Also keep the Black Glass in the cupboard
But still no one is aware of what I did
Becoz I never take a risk
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I to Wife : But still I think chopra's daughter's age is not that much
Wife: What are you saying? She is 28 yrs old... like an aged horse
I: (I forgot her age is 28) Oh Oh...
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I again take out potatoes out from my black cupboard
But the cupboard's place has automatically changed
I take out the bottle from the rack and quickly enjoy one peg in the
sink .
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Shivaji Maharaj laughs loudly
I keep the rack in the potatoes & wash Shivaji Maharaj's photo & keep it
in the black cupboard .
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Wife is keeping the sink on the stove
But still no one is aware of what I did
Becoz I never take a risk
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I to Wife: (getting angry) you call Mr. chopra a horse? If you say that
again, I willcut your tongue...!
Wife: Don't just blabber something, go out and sit quietly...
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I take out the bottle from the potatoes
Go in the black cupboard and enjoy a peg
Wash the sink and keep it over the rack
Wife is giving a smile
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Shivaji Maharaj is still cooking
But still no one is aware of what I did
Becoz I never take a risk
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I to Wife : (laughing) So chopra is marrying a horse!!
Wife: Hey go and sprinkle some water on your face...
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I again go to the kitchen, and quietly sit on the rack
Stove is also on the rack
There is a small noise of bottles from the room outside .
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I peep and see that wife is enjoying a peg in the sink
But none of the horses are aware of what I did
Becoz Shivaji Maharaj never takes a risk .
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Chopra is still cooking
And I am looking at my wife from the photo and laughing
Becoz I never take...... never take ..... never take what??? I
never
take a potato I think...
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
usefull links to find bank details
To find MICR/IFSC/Branch Code
Direct links
ICICI Bangalore
http://www.ratekhoj.com/banks/results.php?post=Submit+your+choices&searchstring=ICICI+Bank+bangalore
Citibank Delhi
Friday, August 06, 2010
Tech Funny
old one but still can bring smile on your face...
Name of the God Roles and Responsibilities
============ == ============ =========
Brahma >>>>>>>>>> Systems Installation
Vishnu >>>>>>>>>> Systems Administration & Support
Lakshmi >>>>>>>>>> Finance and Accounts consultant
Saraswati >>>>>>>>>> Training and Knowledge Management
Shiva >>>>>>>>>> DBA (Crash Specialist)
Ganesh >>>>>>>>>> Quality Assuarance & Documentation
Narada >>>>>>>>>> Data transfer
Yama >>>>>>>>>> Reorganization & Downsizing Consultant
Chitragupta >>>>>>>> IDP& Personal Records
Apsaras >>>>>>>>>> Downloadable Viruses
Devas >>>>>>>>>> Mainframe Programmers
Surya >>>>>>>>>> Solaris Administrator
Rakshasas >>>>>>>>>> In house Hackers
Ravan >>>>>>>>>> Internet Explorer WWWF
Lakshman >>>>>>>>>> Support Software and Backup
Hanuman >>>>>>>>>> Linux/s390
Jatayu >>>>>>>>>> Firewall
Dronacharya >>>>>>> System Programmer
Vishwamitra >>>>>>> Sr. Manager Projects
Valmiki >>>>>>>>>>Technical Writer (Ramayana Sign off document)
Krishna >>>>>>>>>> SDLC ( Sudarshan Wheel Development Life Cycle )
Arjun >>>>>>>>>> Lead Programmer (all companies are vying for him)
Abhimanyu >>>>>>>>> Trainee Programmer
Draupadi >>>>>>>>> Motivation & Team building
Bhima >>>>>>>>> MAINFRAME LEGACY SYSTEM
Duryodhana >>>>>>>>> Microsoft product Written in VB
Karna >>>>>>>>> Contract programmer
Dhrutarashtra >>>>>> Visual C++
Gandhari >>>>>>>>> Dreamweaver
100 Kauravas >>>>>> Microsoft Service Packs and patches
Carrots, eggs and coffee
A young woman went to her mother and told her about her life and how things were so hard for her. She did not know how she was going to make it and wanted to give up, She was tired of fighting and struggling. It seemed as one problem was solved, a new one arose.
Her mother took her to the kitchen. She filled three pots with water and placed each on a high fire. Soon the pots came to boil. In the first she placed carrots, in the second she placed eggs, and in the last she placed ground coffee beans. She let them sit and boil; without saying a word.
In about twenty minutes she turned off the burners. She fished the carrots out and placed them in a bowl. She pulled the eggs out and placed them in a bowl. Then she ladled the coffee out and placed it in a bowl. Turning to her daughter, she asked, ' Tell me what you see.' 'Carrots, eggs, and coffee,' she replied.
Her mother brought her closer and asked her to feel the carrots. She did and noted that they were soft. The mother then asked the daughter to take an egg and break it. After pulling off the shell, she observed the hardboiled egg.
Finally, the mother asked the daughter to sip the coffee. The daughter smiled as she tasted its rich aroma. The daughter then asked,
'What does it mean, mother?'
Her mother explained that each of these objects had faced the same adversity: boiling water. Each reacted differently. The carrot went in strong, hard, and unrelenting. However, after being subjected to the boiling water, it softened and became weak. The egg had been fragile. Its thin outer shell had protected its liquid interior, but after sitting through the boiling water, its inside became hardened. The ground coffee beans were unique, however. After they were in the boiling water, they had changed the water.
'Which are you?' she asked her daughter. 'When adversity knocks on your door, how do you respond? Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?
Think of this: Which am I? Am I the carrot that seems strong, but with pain and adversity do I wilt and become soft and lose my strength?
Am I the egg that starts with a malleable heart, but changes with the heat? Did I have a fluid spirit, but after a death, a breakup, a financial hardship or some other trial, have I become hardened and stiff? Does my shell look the same, but on the inside am I bitter and tough with a stiff spirit and hardened heart?
Or am I like the coffee bean? The bean actually changes the hot water, the very circumstance that brings the pain. When the water gets hot, it releases the fragrance and flavour. If you are like the bean, when things are at their worst, you get better and change the situation around you. When the hour is the darkest and trials are their greatest do you elevate yourself to another level? How do you handle adversity? Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?
May you have enough happiness to make you sweet, enough trials to make you strong, enough sorrow to keep you human and enough hope to make you happy.
The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the most of everything that comes along their way. The brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past; you can't go forward in life until you let go of your past failures and heartaches.
May we all be COFFEE!
Her mother took her to the kitchen. She filled three pots with water and placed each on a high fire. Soon the pots came to boil. In the first she placed carrots, in the second she placed eggs, and in the last she placed ground coffee beans. She let them sit and boil; without saying a word.
In about twenty minutes she turned off the burners. She fished the carrots out and placed them in a bowl. She pulled the eggs out and placed them in a bowl. Then she ladled the coffee out and placed it in a bowl. Turning to her daughter, she asked, ' Tell me what you see.' 'Carrots, eggs, and coffee,' she replied.
Her mother brought her closer and asked her to feel the carrots. She did and noted that they were soft. The mother then asked the daughter to take an egg and break it. After pulling off the shell, she observed the hardboiled egg.
Finally, the mother asked the daughter to sip the coffee. The daughter smiled as she tasted its rich aroma. The daughter then asked,
'What does it mean, mother?'
Her mother explained that each of these objects had faced the same adversity: boiling water. Each reacted differently. The carrot went in strong, hard, and unrelenting. However, after being subjected to the boiling water, it softened and became weak. The egg had been fragile. Its thin outer shell had protected its liquid interior, but after sitting through the boiling water, its inside became hardened. The ground coffee beans were unique, however. After they were in the boiling water, they had changed the water.
'Which are you?' she asked her daughter. 'When adversity knocks on your door, how do you respond? Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?
Think of this: Which am I? Am I the carrot that seems strong, but with pain and adversity do I wilt and become soft and lose my strength?
Am I the egg that starts with a malleable heart, but changes with the heat? Did I have a fluid spirit, but after a death, a breakup, a financial hardship or some other trial, have I become hardened and stiff? Does my shell look the same, but on the inside am I bitter and tough with a stiff spirit and hardened heart?
Or am I like the coffee bean? The bean actually changes the hot water, the very circumstance that brings the pain. When the water gets hot, it releases the fragrance and flavour. If you are like the bean, when things are at their worst, you get better and change the situation around you. When the hour is the darkest and trials are their greatest do you elevate yourself to another level? How do you handle adversity? Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?
May you have enough happiness to make you sweet, enough trials to make you strong, enough sorrow to keep you human and enough hope to make you happy.
The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the most of everything that comes along their way. The brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past; you can't go forward in life until you let go of your past failures and heartaches.
May we all be COFFEE!
Monday, June 28, 2010
Indian Student with American link :)
It was the first day of a school in USA and a new Indian student named Chandrasekhar Subramanian entered the fourth grade.
The teacher said, "Let's begin by reviewing some American History. Who said 'Give me Liberty , or give me Death'?"
She saw a sea of blank faces, except for Chandrasekhar, who had his hand up:?'Patrick Henry, 1775'he said.
'Very good! Who said 'Government of the People, by the People, for the People, shall not perish from the Earth?''
Again, no response except from Chandrasekhar. 'Abraham Lincoln, 1863' said Chandrasekhar.
The teacher snapped at the class, 'Class, you should be ashamed. Chandrasekhar, who is new to our country, knows more about our history than you do.'
She heard a loud whisper: 'F___ the Indians,'
'Who said that?' she demanded. Chandrasekhar put his hand up. 'General Custer, 1862.'
At that point, a student in the back said, 'I'm gonna puke.'
The teacher glares around and asks 'All right! Now, who said that?' Again, Chandrasekhar says, 'George Bush to the Japanese Prime Minister, 1991.'
Now furious, another student yells, 'Oh yeah? Suck this!'
Chandrasekhar jumps out of his chair waving his hand and shouts to the teacher, 'Bill Clinton, to Monica Lewinsky,1997'
Now with almost mob hysteria someone said 'You little shit. If you say anything else, I'll kill you.' Chandrasekhar frantically yells at the top of his voice, ' Michael Jackson to the child witnesses testifying against him, 2004.'
The teacher fainted. And as the class gathered around the teacher on the floor, someone said, 'Oh shit, we're screwed!' And Chandrasekhar said quietly, 'I think it was Lehmann Brothers, November 4th, 2008'.
The teacher said, "Let's begin by reviewing some American History. Who said 'Give me Liberty , or give me Death'?"
She saw a sea of blank faces, except for Chandrasekhar, who had his hand up:?'Patrick Henry, 1775'he said.
'Very good! Who said 'Government of the People, by the People, for the People, shall not perish from the Earth?''
Again, no response except from Chandrasekhar. 'Abraham Lincoln, 1863' said Chandrasekhar.
The teacher snapped at the class, 'Class, you should be ashamed. Chandrasekhar, who is new to our country, knows more about our history than you do.'
She heard a loud whisper: 'F___ the Indians,'
'Who said that?' she demanded. Chandrasekhar put his hand up. 'General Custer, 1862.'
At that point, a student in the back said, 'I'm gonna puke.'
The teacher glares around and asks 'All right! Now, who said that?' Again, Chandrasekhar says, 'George Bush to the Japanese Prime Minister, 1991.'
Now furious, another student yells, 'Oh yeah? Suck this!'
Chandrasekhar jumps out of his chair waving his hand and shouts to the teacher, 'Bill Clinton, to Monica Lewinsky,1997'
Now with almost mob hysteria someone said 'You little shit. If you say anything else, I'll kill you.' Chandrasekhar frantically yells at the top of his voice, ' Michael Jackson to the child witnesses testifying against him, 2004.'
The teacher fainted. And as the class gathered around the teacher on the floor, someone said, 'Oh shit, we're screwed!' And Chandrasekhar said quietly, 'I think it was Lehmann Brothers, November 4th, 2008'.
Thursday, June 24, 2010
Don't want to pregnant again!!!! A learning curve
A worried woman went to her gynecologist and said:
"Doctor, I have a serious problem and desperately need your help! My baby is not even 1 yr. old and I'm pregnant again. I don't want kids so close together."
So the doctor said: 'Ok, and what do you want me to do?'
She said: 'I want you to end my pregnancy, and I'm counting on your help with this.'
The doctor thought for a little, and after some silence
he said to the lady: "I think, I have a better solution for your problem. It's less dangerous for you too.'
She smiled, thinking that the doctor was going to accept her request.
Then he continued: 'You see, in order for you not to have to take care of 2 babies at the same time, let's kill the one in your arms. This way, you could rest some before the other one is born. If we're going to kill one of them, it doesn't matter which one it is.
There would be no risk for your body if you chose the one in your arms.
The lady was horrified and said: 'No doctor! How terrible! It's a crime to kill a child!
'I agree', the doctor replied. 'But you seemed to be ok with it, so I thought maybe that was the best solution.
The doctor smiled, realizing that he had made his point. He convinced the mom that there is no difference in killing a child that's already been born and one that's still in the womb. The crime is the same!
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
If at all Banks can work together!!!!!!!!
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Online transactions has been so much talked about with so many service providers with showcasing their abilities.
I was wondering if I could put something on my site which will enable people pay online without the hassle of me getting subscribed to some online payment gateway and also restricting users for a limited set of banks.
Solution : All banks should have option similar to paying via bank to some other bank account, it’s just that the payment will be the other way.
Explanation:
Online user will send a online request from a web portal with their Bank account detail like Account No and IFCS Code.
Online portal will send a request via their bank to the online user bank account for payment.
Online user will accept/reject/update&accept transaction request .
Bank’s does transaction and portal get’s paid.
This solution remove security risk outside of the scope of banks, makes it more transparent. Add value to Bank’s.
Wednesday, June 09, 2010
FW: Balakrishnan Kuppuswamy!!!! .........Just for FUN
During work, Raman and Narayan were chatting:
Raman: Narain, I've been attending night classes for 5 months now and I have an exam next week.
Narayan: Oh!
Raman: For example, do you know who is Graham Bell?
Narayan: No
Raman: He's the inventor of the phone in 1876; if you take night Courses you would know this.
The next day, the same discussion took place:
Raman: Do you know who Alexander Dumas is?
Narayan: No
Raman: He's the author of "The 3 Musketeers", if you take night courses, you would know this.
The next day, once again:
Raman: And do you know who Jean Jacques Rousseau is?
Narayan: No
Raman: He's the author of "Confessions", if you take night courses, you would know this.
This time, Narayan got irritated and said: And you, do you know who is Balakrishnan Kuppuswamy?
Raman: No
Narayan: He's the guy roaming with your wife!! If you stop night courses, you would know.
" Rule: There is 'some thing' important in life than Work and General Knowledge. "
Raman: Narain, I've been attending night classes for 5 months now and I have an exam next week.
Narayan: Oh!
Raman: For example, do you know who is Graham Bell?
Narayan: No
Raman: He's the inventor of the phone in 1876; if you take night Courses you would know this.
The next day, the same discussion took place:
Raman: Do you know who Alexander Dumas is?
Narayan: No
Raman: He's the author of "The 3 Musketeers", if you take night courses, you would know this.
The next day, once again:
Raman: And do you know who Jean Jacques Rousseau is?
Narayan: No
Raman: He's the author of "Confessions", if you take night courses, you would know this.
This time, Narayan got irritated and said: And you, do you know who is Balakrishnan Kuppuswamy?
Raman: No
Narayan: He's the guy roaming with your wife!! If you stop night courses, you would know.
" Rule: There is 'some thing' important in life than Work and General Knowledge. "
Donkey and Dog - One spear tow heads :).........hope you enjoy it
If you read this please decide who is intelligent- Donkey or the DOG!
The Donkey and the Dog -You may find one in your midst…
There was once a washer man who had a donkey and a dog. One night when the whole world was sleeping, a thief broke into the house, the washer man was fast asleep too but the donkey and the dog were awake. The dog decided not to bark since the master did not take good care of him and wanted to teach him a lesson.
The donkey got worried and said to the dog that if he doesn't bark, the donkey will have to do something himself. The dog did not change his mind and the donkey started braying loudly.
Hearing the donkey bray, the thief ran away, the master woke up and started beating the donkey for braying in the middle of the night for no reason.
Moral of the story “One must not engage in duties other than his own"
Now take a new look at the same story...
The washer man was a well educated man from a premier management institute. He had the fundas of looking at the bigger picture and thinking out of the box. He was convinced that there must be some reason for the donkey to bray in the night.. He walked outside a little and did some fact finding, applied a bottom up approach, figured out from the ground realities that there was a thief who broke in and the donkey only wanted to alert him about it. Looking at the donkey's extra initiative and going beyond the call of the duty, he rewarded him with lot of hay and other perks and became his favorite pet.
The dog's life didn't change much, except that now the donkey was more motivated in doing the dog's duties as well. In the annual appraisal, the dog managed "ME" (Met Expectations).
Soon the dog realized that the donkey is taking care of his duties and he can enjoy his life sleeping and lazing around.
The donkey was rated as a “star performer". The donkey had to live up to his already high performance standards.
Soon he was over burdened with work and always under pressure and now is looking for a NEW JOB ... !!!!
Disclaimer: All characters in the story are not at all imaginary. Any resemblance to person living or dying of work is purely intentional.
The Donkey and the Dog -You may find one in your midst…
There was once a washer man who had a donkey and a dog. One night when the whole world was sleeping, a thief broke into the house, the washer man was fast asleep too but the donkey and the dog were awake. The dog decided not to bark since the master did not take good care of him and wanted to teach him a lesson.
The donkey got worried and said to the dog that if he doesn't bark, the donkey will have to do something himself. The dog did not change his mind and the donkey started braying loudly.
Hearing the donkey bray, the thief ran away, the master woke up and started beating the donkey for braying in the middle of the night for no reason.
Moral of the story “One must not engage in duties other than his own"
Now take a new look at the same story...
The washer man was a well educated man from a premier management institute. He had the fundas of looking at the bigger picture and thinking out of the box. He was convinced that there must be some reason for the donkey to bray in the night.. He walked outside a little and did some fact finding, applied a bottom up approach, figured out from the ground realities that there was a thief who broke in and the donkey only wanted to alert him about it. Looking at the donkey's extra initiative and going beyond the call of the duty, he rewarded him with lot of hay and other perks and became his favorite pet.
The dog's life didn't change much, except that now the donkey was more motivated in doing the dog's duties as well. In the annual appraisal, the dog managed "ME" (Met Expectations).
Soon the dog realized that the donkey is taking care of his duties and he can enjoy his life sleeping and lazing around.
The donkey was rated as a “star performer". The donkey had to live up to his already high performance standards.
Soon he was over burdened with work and always under pressure and now is looking for a NEW JOB ... !!!!
Disclaimer: All characters in the story are not at all imaginary. Any resemblance to person living or dying of work is purely intentional.
Wednesday, June 02, 2010
EPF India Online
The Employees' Provident Fund, India
Location : 14, Bhikaiji Cama Place,
Bhavishya Nidhi Bhawan,
New Delhi-110 066
India
e-mail : cpfc@epfindia.gov.in
Sunday, May 23, 2010
Good or Evil??????????? - GOD or NO GOD????????????
An atheist professor of philosophy speaks to his class on the problem science has with God, The Almighty.
He asks one of his new students to stand and..... Prof:
So you believe in God?
Student:
Absolutely, sir.
Prof
: Is God good?
Student:
Sure.
Prof:
Is God all-powerful?
Student
: Yes.
Prof:
My brother died of cancer even though he prayed to God to heal him.
Most of us would attempt to help others who are ill. But God didn't. How is this God good then? Hmm?
(Student is silent.)
Prof:
You can't answer, can you? Let's start again, young fella. Is God good?
Student:
Yes.
Prof:
Is Satan good?
Student
: No.
Prof:
Where does Satan come from?
Student:
From...God.. ..
Prof:
That's right. Tell me son, is there evil in this world?
Student:
Yes.
Prof:
Evil is everywhere, isn't it? And God did make everything. Correct?
Student:
Yes.
Prof:
So who created evil?
(Student does not answer.)
Prof:
Is there sickness? Immorality? Hatred? Ugliness? All these terrible things exist in the world, don't they?
Student:
Yes, sir.
Prof:
So, who created them?
(Student has no answer.)
Prof:
Science says you have 5 senses you use to identify and observe the world around you.
Tell me, son...Have you ever
seen God?
Student:
No, sir.
Prof:
Tell us if you have ever heard your God?
Student:
No, sir.
Prof:
Have you ever felt your God, tasted your God, smelt your God? Have you ever had any sensory perception of God for that matter?
Student:
No, sir. I'm afraid I haven't.
Prof:
Yet you still believe in Him?
Student:
Yes.
Prof:
According to empirical, testable, demonstrable protocol, science says your GOD doesn't exist.
What do you say to that, son?
Student:
Nothing. I only have my faith.
Prof:
Yes. Faith. And that is the problem science has.
Student:
Professor, is there such a thing as heat?
Prof:
Yes.
Student:
And is there such a thing as cold?
Prof:
Yes.
Student:
No sir. There isn't.
(The lecture theatre becomes very quiet with this turn of events.)
Student
: Sir, you can have lots of heat, even more heat, superheat, mega heat, white heat, a little heat or no heat.
But we don't have anything called cold. We can hit 458 degrees below zero which is no heat, but we can't go any further after that.
There is no such thing as cold . Cold is only a word we use to describe the absence of heat . We cannot measure cold. Heat is energy . Cold is not the opposite of heat, sir, just the absence of it .(There is pin-drop silence in the lecture theatre.)
Student:
What about darkness, Professor? Is there such a thing as darkness?
Prof:
Yes.. What is night if there isn't darkness?
Student :
You're wrong again, sir. Darkness is the absence of something. You can have low light, normal light, bright
light, flashing light....But if
you have no light constantly, you have nothing and it's called darkness, isn't it? In
reality, darkness isn't. If it were you would be able to make
darkness darker, wouldn't you?
Prof:
So what is the point you are making, young man?
Student:
Sir, my point is your philosophical premise is flawed.
Prof:
Flawed? Can you explain how?
Student:
Sir, you are working on the premise of duality. You argue there is life and then there is death, a good God and a bad God. You are viewing the concept of God as something finite, something we can measure. Sir, science can't even explain a thought. It uses electricity and magnetism, but has never seen, much less fully understood either one.To view death as the opposite of life is to be ignorant of the fact that death cannot exist as a substantive thing. Death is not the opposite of life: just the absence of it.
Now tell me, Professor.Do you teach your students that they evolved from a monkey?
Prof:
If you are referring to the natural evolutionary process, yes, of course, I do.
Student:
Have you ever observed evolution with your own eyes, sir?
(The Professor shakes his head with a smile, beginning to realize where the argument is going.)
Student:
Since no one has ever observed the process of evolution at work and cannot even prove that this process is an on-going endeavor, are you not teaching your opinion, sir? Are you not a scientist but a preacher? (The class is in uproar.)
Student:
Is there anyone in the class who has ever seen the Professor's brain?
(The class breaks out into laughter.)
Student
: Is there anyone here who has ever heard the Professor's brain, felt it, touched or smelt it? No one appears to have done so. So, according to the established rules of empirical, stable, demonstrable protocol, science says that you have no brain,sir.
With all due respect, sir, how do we then trust your lectures, sir?
(The room is silent. The professor stares at the student, his face unfathomable. )
Prof:
I guess you'll have to take them on faith, son.
Student:
That is it sir.... The link between man & god is FAITH . That is all that keeps things moving & alive.
Thursday, May 06, 2010
Letter to God....
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Wednesday, May 05, 2010
Nice Story ...!!!
Kenny & the Dead Donkey
A city boy, Kenny, moved to the country and bought a donkey from an old farmer for $100.00. The farmer agreed to deliver the donkey the next day.
The next day the farmer drove up and said, "Sorry son, but I have some bad news, the donkey died last night."
Kenny replied: "Well then, just give me my money back."
The farmer said: "Can't do that. I went and spent it already."
Kenny said: "OK then, just unload the donkey."
The farmer asked: "What you goanna to do with him?"
Kenny: "I'm going to raffle him off."
(Note: To raffle is to sell a thing by lottery - draw lot -! to a group of people each paying the same amount for a ticket)
Farmer: "You can't raffle off a dead donkey!"
Kenny: "Sure I can. Watch me. I just won't tell anybody he's dead."
A month later the farmer met up with Kenny and asked, "What happened with that dead donkey?"
Kenny: "I raffled him off. I sold 500 tickets at two dollars apiece and made a profit of $998.00."
Farmer: "Didn't anyone complain?"
Kenny: "Just the guy who won. So I gave him back his two dollars."
Kenny grew up and eventually became the CEO of the American Energy Company :
Before We Give Any Criticism
Before We Give Any Criticism
A young couple move into a new neighborhood. The next morning, while they are eating breakfast, the young woman sees her neighbor hang the wash outside.
"That laundry is not very clean", she said, "she doesn't know how to wash properly. Perhaps she needs better laundry soap".
Her husband looked on, but remained silent. Every time her neighbor would hang her wash to dry, the young woman would make the same comments.
About one month later, the woman was surprised to see a nice clean wash on the line and said to her husband: "Look! She has learned how to wash properly. I wonder who taught her this."
The husband said: "I got up early this morning and cleaned our windows!"
And so it is with life: "What we see when watching others depends on the purity of the window through which we look. Before we give any criticism, it might be a good idea to check our state of mind and ask ourselves if we are ready to see the good rather than to be looking for something in the person we are about to judge."
A young couple move into a new neighborhood. The next morning, while they are eating breakfast, the young woman sees her neighbor hang the wash outside.
"That laundry is not very clean", she said, "she doesn't know how to wash properly. Perhaps she needs better laundry soap".
Her husband looked on, but remained silent. Every time her neighbor would hang her wash to dry, the young woman would make the same comments.
About one month later, the woman was surprised to see a nice clean wash on the line and said to her husband: "Look! She has learned how to wash properly. I wonder who taught her this."
The husband said: "I got up early this morning and cleaned our windows!"
And so it is with life: "What we see when watching others depends on the purity of the window through which we look. Before we give any criticism, it might be a good idea to check our state of mind and ask ourselves if we are ready to see the good rather than to be looking for something in the person we are about to judge."
Tuesday, May 04, 2010
Monday, May 03, 2010
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Thursday, April 29, 2010
Free iPhone Apps
Twitterific : http://iconfactory.com/software/twitterrific
Palringo Messenger : http://www.palringo.com/en/au/
Dictionary : http://dictionary.reference.com/apps/iphone
Dog Wistle : http://weeklydrop.com/free-iphone-3g-downloads-applications-software/dog-whistler-iphone-app/
AOL iPhone Application Directory : http://daol.aol.com/software/iphone
Free iPhone App Directory :
iTunes Account without Credit Card
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
Google Certification Program - AdWords - Part I
Search Results are of type Organic and Paid
SEM
Search Engine Marketing
ROI
Return on Investment
PPC
Pay per Click
CPM
Cost per thousand Impressions
CPA
Cost per acquistion
CPC
Cost per Click
CTR
ClickThrough Rate
Marketing type are Branding and Direct Response
AdWords is Google’s SEM/Advertising tool for Google Network [Google Content Network and Google Search Network]
One of the factors affecting search result position is Page Rank. PageRank is the measure of the importance of a page based on the incoming links from other pages. In simple terms, each link from site A to a page on site B adds to site B's PageRank.
Users can visit the Google homepage or other Google properties, enter a search query (terms related to information they'd like to find) into the search field, and click "Google Search." Google returns a variety of search results -- including lists of files, articles, documents, and websites -- that are all highly relevant to the query. (If a user clicks "I'm Feeling Lucky," the user goes directly to the first website or document in the Google search results.)
AdWords offers two ways to trigger your ads to appear:
1) In response to keywords (called keyword targeting)
2) On specific placements (called placement targeting)
Google payment options are divided into two types: postpay and prepay.
Note that you won't be able to switch from a postpay option to a prepay option or vice versa.
Keyword
The keywords you choose are the terms or phrases you want to prompt your ad to appear. For example, if you deliver fresh flowers, you can use "fresh flower delivery" as a keyword in your AdWords campaign. When a Google user enters "fresh flower delivery" in a Google search, your ad could appear next to the search results.
The keywords you choose are the terms or phrases you want to prompt your ad to appear. For example, if you deliver fresh flowers, you can use "fresh flower delivery" as a keyword in your AdWords campaign. When a Google user enters "fresh flower delivery" in a Google search, your ad could appear next to the search results.
Placement
Like keywords, placements are another way for you to control where your ads appear. A placement is usually a website where you'd like your ad to appear. For example, if you select www.example.com/sports as a placement, your ad could appear on that site.
Like keywords, placements are another way for you to control where your ads appear. A placement is usually a website where you'd like your ad to appear. For example, if you select www.example.com/sports as a placement, your ad could appear on that site.
Image ad
A graphical ad, which can be static or animated, that runs on the Google Content Network. Also called a display ad.
A graphical ad, which can be static or animated, that runs on the Google Content Network. Also called a display ad.
Campaign & Ad Group
AdWords accounts are organized into campaigns and ad groups. You start with one campaign, which has its own daily budget and targeting preferences. You can have multiple campaigns running and might choose to create one campaign for each product or service you want to advertise. Within each campaign, you have one or more ad groups, which are sets of related ads, keywords, and placements.
AdWords accounts are organized into campaigns and ad groups. You start with one campaign, which has its own daily budget and targeting preferences. You can have multiple campaigns running and might choose to create one campaign for each product or service you want to advertise. Within each campaign, you have one or more ad groups, which are sets of related ads, keywords, and placements.
Impression (Impr.)
The number of impressions is the number of times an ad is displayed on Google or the Google Network. Monitor your impressions to see how many people your ad is shown to.
The number of impressions is the number of times an ad is displayed on Google or the Google Network. Monitor your impressions to see how many people your ad is shown to.
Click
If a customer sees your ad and clicks on it to learn more or to do business with you, it is recorded in your account as a click. Monitor your clicks to see how many people choose to enter your website from your ad.
If a customer sees your ad and clicks on it to learn more or to do business with you, it is recorded in your account as a click. Monitor your clicks to see how many people choose to enter your website from your ad.
Clickthrough Rate (CTR)
Your clickthrough rate (CTR) is a metric that helps show how your ads are performing. The more relevant your ads are, the more often users will click on them, resulting in a higher CTR. The system calculates your CTR as follows: Number of ad clicks/number of impressions x 100.
Your clickthrough rate (CTR) is a metric that helps show how your ads are performing. The more relevant your ads are, the more often users will click on them, resulting in a higher CTR. The system calculates your CTR as follows: Number of ad clicks/number of impressions x 100.
Cost-per-click (CPC)
Under the cost-per-click (CPC) pricing model, AdWords charges you for each click your ads receive. You won't incur any costs if your ad is displayed and users don't click it. CPC bidding is the default for ads running on Google and the Search Network. Most advertisers also choose it for their campaigns that focus on getting a direct response from their audience, whether a sale, sign-up, or other action.
Under the cost-per-click (CPC) pricing model, AdWords charges you for each click your ads receive. You won't incur any costs if your ad is displayed and users don't click it. CPC bidding is the default for ads running on Google and the Search Network. Most advertisers also choose it for their campaigns that focus on getting a direct response from their audience, whether a sale, sign-up, or other action.
Maximum cost-per-click (maximum CPC)
The highest amount that you are willing to pay for a click on your ad. You can choose to set a maximum CPC for individual keywords or for all the keywords within an ad group.
The highest amount that you are willing to pay for a click on your ad. You can choose to set a maximum CPC for individual keywords or for all the keywords within an ad group.
Cost-per-thousand impressions (CPM)
With some campaigns, you can choose to pay for views of your ad rather than clicks. The maximum CPM is the most you're willing to pay for each thousand impressions, or views of your ad. CPM bidding is only available for campaigns that target the Content Network and not Google search or search partner sites.
With some campaigns, you can choose to pay for views of your ad rather than clicks. The maximum CPM is the most you're willing to pay for each thousand impressions, or views of your ad. CPM bidding is only available for campaigns that target the Content Network and not Google search or search partner sites.
Quality Score
Quality Score is the basis for measuring the quality of your keyword and ad and determining your cost-per-clicks (CPCs). Quality Score is determined by your keyword's clickthrough rate (CTR), relevance of your ad text, historical keyword performance, and other relevancy factors. The higher your Quality Score, the lower the price you'll pay per click.
Quality Score is the basis for measuring the quality of your keyword and ad and determining your cost-per-clicks (CPCs). Quality Score is determined by your keyword's clickthrough rate (CTR), relevance of your ad text, historical keyword performance, and other relevancy factors. The higher your Quality Score, the lower the price you'll pay per click.
First page bid estimates
Your AdWords account will show a first page bid estimate for each of your keywords. This metric estimates the cost-per-click (CPC) bid needed for your ad to reach the first page of Google search results when the search query exactly matches your keyword. The first page bid estimate is based on the Quality Score and current advertiser competition for that keyword.
Your AdWords account will show a first page bid estimate for each of your keywords. This metric estimates the cost-per-click (CPC) bid needed for your ad to reach the first page of Google search results when the search query exactly matches your keyword. The first page bid estimate is based on the Quality Score and current advertiser competition for that keyword.
Optimization
An optimization is the process of creating/editing keywords and ad text (or adjusting other parts of the account) to improve the performance of AdWords ads.
An optimization is the process of creating/editing keywords and ad text (or adjusting other parts of the account) to improve the performance of AdWords ads.
Google App Engine
Admin Console : http://code.google.com/appengine/docs/theadminconsole.html
Google App Marketplace : http://www.google.com/enterprise/marketplace/home?marketId=0
Getting Started :
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
IDE support not just Lazy Loading but Lazy Working toooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Feeling lazy, identify low energy task within Java Eclipse IDE for you to work on.
Now how cool it will be if IDE can convert single high energy task to multiple low energy task and get work done on part of a Project Manager/Team Lead. That would be a awesome feature in the kitty.
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Monday, April 26, 2010
Useful Links which come in handy mostly and End of FInancial Year or Employment :)
Income Tax Department, India
Employee’s Provident Fund Organization, India
Hear with an open mind
Hear with an open mind
Nan-in, a Japanese master received a university professor who came to inquire about the Absolute Truth.
Nan-in served tea. He poured his visitor's cup full, and then kept on pouring.
The professor watched the overflow until he no longer could restrain himself. "It is overfull. No more will go in!"
"Like this cup," Nan-in said, "you are full of your own opinions and speculations. How can I show you the Absolute Truth unless you first empty your cup?"
Hence it’s very important when we hear or take association from seniors; we go with an empty cup and hear with an open mind, keeping aside our own opinions and speculations.
Nan-in, a Japanese master received a university professor who came to inquire about the Absolute Truth.
Nan-in served tea. He poured his visitor's cup full, and then kept on pouring.
The professor watched the overflow until he no longer could restrain himself. "It is overfull. No more will go in!"
"Like this cup," Nan-in said, "you are full of your own opinions and speculations. How can I show you the Absolute Truth unless you first empty your cup?"
Hence it’s very important when we hear or take association from seniors; we go with an empty cup and hear with an open mind, keeping aside our own opinions and speculations.
Thursday, April 22, 2010
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No one can hurt you without your consent
No one can hurt you without your consent
On the first day, as President Abraham Lincoln entered to give his inaugural address, just in the middle, one man stood up. He was a rich aristocrat. He said, “Mr. Lincoln, you should not forget that your father used to make shoes for my family.” And the whole Senate laughed; they thought they had made a fool of Abraham Lincoln.
But Lincoln --- and that type of people are made of a totally different mettle. Lincoln looked at the man and said, “Sir I know that my father used to make shoes in your house for your family, and there will be many others here…. Because the way he made shoes; nobody else can. He was a creator. His shoes were not just shoes; he poured his whole soul in it. I want to ask you, have you any complaint? Because I know how to make shoes myself. If you have any complaint I can make another pair of shoes. But as far as I know, nobody has ever complained about my father’s shoes. He was a genius, a great creator and I am proud of my father”.
The whole Senate was struck dumb. They could not understand what kind of man Abraham Lincoln was. He was proud because his father did the job so well that not even a single complaint had ever been heard.
Remember:
“No one can hurt you without your consent.”
“It is not what happens to us that hurts us. It is our response that hurts us.”
On the first day, as President Abraham Lincoln entered to give his inaugural address, just in the middle, one man stood up. He was a rich aristocrat. He said, “Mr. Lincoln, you should not forget that your father used to make shoes for my family.” And the whole Senate laughed; they thought they had made a fool of Abraham Lincoln.
But Lincoln --- and that type of people are made of a totally different mettle. Lincoln looked at the man and said, “Sir I know that my father used to make shoes in your house for your family, and there will be many others here…. Because the way he made shoes; nobody else can. He was a creator. His shoes were not just shoes; he poured his whole soul in it. I want to ask you, have you any complaint? Because I know how to make shoes myself. If you have any complaint I can make another pair of shoes. But as far as I know, nobody has ever complained about my father’s shoes. He was a genius, a great creator and I am proud of my father”.
The whole Senate was struck dumb. They could not understand what kind of man Abraham Lincoln was. He was proud because his father did the job so well that not even a single complaint had ever been heard.
Remember:
“No one can hurt you without your consent.”
“It is not what happens to us that hurts us. It is our response that hurts us.”
Entertainment a click away!!!!!!!!!!!
Joke 1:
Can I borrow that book of yours How To Become A Millionaire?
Sure. Here you are.
Thanks - but half the pages are missing.
What's the matter? Isn't half a million enough for you?
Sure. Here you are.
Thanks - but half the pages are missing.
What's the matter? Isn't half a million enough for you?
Joke 2: Blonde Password
During a recent security audit, a company discovered that a
blonde employee was using the following password:
blonde employee was using the following password:
“MickeyMinniePlutoHueyLouieDeweyDonaldGoofySacramento”
When the company asked the blonde why she had such a long password, she said the login screen required the password to be at least 8 characters long and include at least one capital.
Enjoy the Break
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Appraisal Process....Too Good !
The Art of Appraisal
Big Boss: This year your performance was good, excellent and outstanding. So, your rating is "average".
Kumar: What? How come 'average'?
Big Boss: Because...err. ..uhh...you lack domain knowledge.
Kumar: But last year you said I am a domain expert and you put me in this project as a domain consultant.
Big Boss: Oh is it? Well, in that case, I think your domain knowledge has eroded this year.
Kumar: What???
Big Boss: Yes, I didn't see you sharing knowledge on Purchasing domain.
Kumar: Why would I? Because I am not in Purchasing, I am in Manufacturing.
Big Boss: This is what I don't like about you. You give excuse for everything.
Kumar: Huh? *Confused*
Big Boss: Next, you need to improve your communication skills.
Kumar: Like what? I am the one who trained the team on "Business Communication" , you sat in the audience and took notes, you remember?
Big Boss: Oh is it? Errr...well. .I mean, you need to improve your Social Pragmatic Affirmative Communication.
Kumar: Huh? What the hell is that? *Confused*
Big Boss: See! That's why you need to learn about it.
Kumar: *head spinning*
Big Boss: Next, you need to sharpen your recruiting skills. All the guys you recruited left within 2 months.
Kumar: Well, not my mistake. You told them you will sit beside them and review their code, and most resigned the next day itself. Couple of them even attempted suicide.
Big Boss:*stunned* (recovers from shock) Err...anyway, I tried to give you a better rating, but our Normalization process gave you only 'average'.
Kumar: Last year that process gave me 'excellent'. This year just 'average'? Why is this process pushing me up and down every year?
Big Boss: That's a complicated process. You don't want to hear.
Kumar: I'll try to understand. Go ahead.
Big Boss: Well, we gather in a large room, write down the names of sub-ordinates in bits of paper, and throw them up in the air. Whichever lands on the floor gets 'average', whichever lands on table gets 'good', whichever we manage to catch gets 'excellent' and whichever gets stuck to ceiling gets 'outstanding' .
Kumar: (eyes popping out) What? Ridiculous! So who gets 'poor' rating?
Big Boss: Those are the ones we forget to write down.
Kumar: What the hell! And how can paper bits stick to ceiling for 'outstanding' ?
Big Boss: Oh no, now you have started questioning our 20 year old organizational process!
Kumar: *faints*
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